Hot Frosty vs The Merry Gentlemen (2024)
Netflix in 2024: all the abs, all the time
Hot Frosty
Lacey Chabert getting that Netflix coin! And Dustin Milligan proving that he’s directing all of this Schitt’s Creek residuals right to the closest gym. Daaaam, get it, Lacey! Sort of. There’s something almost too chiseled about Milligan in this movie. The jaw is just a bit too angular. The abs cut just a bit too deep. Also, I personally think he’s infinitely more attractive with shorter hair and some facial hair. And given this movie is centered around him being a hot piece of ice, I feel this criticism is permitable, but I digress…
With the help of a magical scarf, Frosty Jack comes to life just in time for a struggling widow (Chabert) to warm up… in more ways than one. There’s some good standard Christmas tropes - with a baking montage, snowball fights, and a town awash in Christmas spirit. Not to mention some classic cameos - Craig Robinson, Lauren Holly - and a Pretty Woman montage to some classic Roy Orbison. All before Jack is saved from death by true love’s kiss. Le sigh.
Overall, a decent Christmas movie. But really, Chabert’s Mean Girls costar Lindsay Lohan was more fetch in Falling for Christmas.
The Merry Gentlemen
Aka Netflix’s Christmas Magic Mike with a side of Rex Manning Day #IYKYK. With that in mind, I had such high hopes for this one and Chad Michael Murray’s abs, but alas, this one was something of a let down. It felt like they really gave it all away in the promos. With a classic “put on a show to save the family bar” storyline, there was lots of opportunity for the usual Christmas movie tropes - he’s divorced, she’s the small-time version of a Rockette returned home to her small town, there’s a baking montage, etc. But for something sold on the power of CMM’s abs, this was disappointing. I was so ready to like this more than Hot Frosty. That being said - you keep up your gym regimen, CMM - whatever you’re doing, it’s working.
You’ll like this if…
You enjoy opportunities to ogle hot men.
