Dial S for Santa (2023)
The real mystery was when the movie would be over
For a standard 90-minute TV movie, this one dragged on and on and on… and then on some more. At one point I checked the time and I was only around the hour mark, though it felt like days had passed.
To be fair, this was an UPtv production that aired as part of the Hallmark Countdown to Christmas, but really, the crown corp should have passed on this one.
The plot circulates around Lana, an insurance investigator desperate for a promotion, who returns to her small town for Christmas, only to get caught up in solving a string of robberies. She immediately starts acting like a cop and infringing on the actual investigation, in between ruining her nephew’s Christmas by telling him Santa isn’t real! Oh, and ruins a marriage proposal with a false accusation, then makes the fallout all about her… I mean, the green dress in the cover photo works well if you’re doubling-down on your Grinchy qualities. That might be the high point.
While trying to play investigator she dresses like a cat burglar, steals what she thinks might be evidence (Have you ever heard of chain of custody? Congratulations, you just found room for reasonable doubt and lost your case. Bravo.), and allows herself to be locked in a garden shed by a dufus burglar. Not to mention driving her mother’s boyfriend away, because why could her mother (widowed for >3 years) be allowed to move on?!? Be. An. Adult.
You’ll like this if…
You won’t. Unless you are a masochist. And even then, this might be a bridge too far.
